Friday, September 01, 2006

Baby Mine


I didn't get to sleep for the night until after eight thirty in the morning after my last post. Of course, the whole family is up and kickin' at eight thirty so it was never a very deep sleep and I finally gave up around eleven. I caught a good nap from 1:30 to 3:30. The next night it was around 4:30, so that's a little better, and then I got a great nap yesterday afternoon. Then last night it was 3:30. And for some reason I have been wide awake since 6:30. It's like I just don't even need the sleep! No, it's not, but this baby seems to think that's the case. Or else it thinks its big brother and sister really shouldn't mind spending all day watching videos so mommy can sleep. But it is quite impressive the amount of ironing, sewing, and smocking one gets done in the wee hours of the morning- so for every negative, a positive. Right?

There's no time for a nap today though as we have a birthday to start celebrating! August will be three on Sunday and has requested a train party for the second year in a row. It will be a simple family party (so don't look for an invitation), particularly simple in light of my ginormous belly and monstrous fatigue. But today we are going to the zoo to see the new baby elephant and, of course, ride the train. The zoo in St. Louis is free, but the train is $4 a person so we have only ridden it once, when Grandma paid. Today we are making the big splurge for the whole family to ride. We'd do it anyway, since it is August's delight, but it will actually come in very handy for this prego. It is so hard to cut out any one section of animals. We always think we'll just see the elephants and hippos or just the big cats, but who can pass up checking in on the monkeys when they're just right over there! After a while though, even a marathon runner would get worn out running over there and then over there and then over there. Hurray for the train to drive us right up to where we want to be!

I envy this momma elephant with her new baby. Last time I saw her, I believe, she was great with child. I can tell mine has "dropped" as it is much more difficult and tiring to try to walk normally. I'm in a fullblown waddle at this point! I couldn't get shoes on or off yesterday- George helped with the on and Amabel with the off- because the baby makes it physically impossible to bend in half the way it is snuggled down so low. On the other hand, scrubbing out the bathtub and bathing the kids, not to mention breathing, was a sinch because I can now easily lean forward or take a deep breath with all this extra room near my rib cage! I don't remember ever noticing for sure the whole "drop" thing from the last two pregnancies. I am guessing this is no indicator that I will be having this baby just any time now. Too bad. At least I haven't been carrying it for two years like elephants do!

Well, this post is about so many things. I could only get one picture or I would've put the train on here too. The elephant seemed more appropriate with the talk of the coming of new babies. I think the biggest change that is yet to come is moving August into the big boy stage. I know he is potty trained. He is days away from three. He is sleeping through the night (though still with a passy). But he is my baby. I look at the little baby elephant and think of my little baby August. And now he and I are both days away from the changing of all of that. When he was born I spent several weeks going into Amabel's room at night and laying down beside her and crying. I felt like I missed her so much and things would never be the same. Of course, I got into the swing of things and August pretty much slept for three months as all babies do and Amabel is just as much mine as she ever was. But August has become the baby. He is now entering the world of "middle child," a world which I know very well so I think we will maintain a special connection. I am sure there is a special connection to be had with every child God gives us. So far it has simply been that Amabel is my girl and August is my baby. I am sure it seems ridiculous to think of a three year old as my baby to some of you. And I am also sure the new baby will sleep a lot and I will still have plenty of time to spend with my big baby. But practically speaking, there will be more to divide my attentions between and therefore less of me to enjoy each child. I am not so sad thinking about Amabel as she is just a child who commands attention, she will be seen, she will be heard. I just hope August will still find a place to climb into on my lap and a quiet time to sit and read together, just me and my Baby August.

4 comments:

Jessie said...

Abby, you made me cry! Its so hard for them to grow and for things to change, even when the outcome is better! I remember when E was born feeling for weeks like I had betrayed G in the most horrible way I could think of...luckily she recovered and I hope that the next time, it isn't as hard since #2 has never gotten to be an only child!

the good, the bad & the ugly said...

Abby,

I can relate. Toot turned four yesterday and he is definitely my baby. He is extremely affectionate, so he plays right into the roll. I look at his cute little face and body and think he is so little and sweet. But in a few weeks he will seem huge in comparison. The great, but sad thing about Toot is that he wants to be "da big boy" and really looks forward to being a big brother. (Despite every elderly woman in the world exclaiming, "Oh, you're finally getting your girl!" right there in front of my precious BOY. What are they thinking?) We'll see if it is all that he thinks it will be. Either way, I can't imagine delighting in him any less. It is so hard to let go!

april said...

Abby,
I never thought I'd sleep again when I was in that home stretch for birth. It's just amazing how little sleep a pregnant woman doesn't get! I feel for you sister.

My second was my 'baby' for a long time and he still comes up to me and asks for a snuggle every once in a while.

I can't wait to see this little Edema!

RHB said...

Abs,

This must be the bittersweet part of adding to the family- even though we know itis good for them to have siblings it feels like we are more divided in our time and attention with each one. Let me know how you resolve this one as I'll be crossing this bridge sometime too. And don't forget to snuggle Amabel too- she still needs it even though she's the oldest. :)

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