Friday, September 29, 2006

Your Gift to Me

I am one of these annoying types who hopes for a mind reader. I don't know why, but I find it extremely hard to ask for help. Even counseling, which is a service we have paid for, has not worked for me in the past because I just can't make myself say the thing I want to say. And only after years of marriage have I learned to really say what I want to George. Unfortunately for him, sometimes these things decide they want to be said in the middle of the night and I wake my poor husband up. Fortunately for me, he is always merciful and compassionate to me, even half asleep at four in the morning. So imagine how grateful I am to have had so many people caring for me without me ever having had to ask (much less pay anyone or wake anybody up!).What a blessing to someone like me to have so many people just showing up with meals and sending thoughtful cards and gifts! I also am not a very good receiver, meaning that I don't know how to thank people without gushing or fearing that I am awkward and sound insincere. It is hard to receive isn't it? Much much easier to give.

We have been very blessed with meals and gifts this far. But as I have had no time to blog or talk on the phone or even visit with the bringers of food, I am finding myself feeling lonely (an of course, hormonal!). It usually hits about this time, late at night when it's time to go to sleep but too close to time to nurse- although nursing thirty minutes every two hours means it's always close to time to nurse!- and way too late to call someone up. So what I could use (besides more of these wonderful meals) is some interaction with folks. And since I have this thing called a blog, I'm just going to say, "talk to me." And now I'll just look forward to checking in and getting little messages from you all. Or email me; or even see if you can find a stamp and write a letter to me. I am mostly just feeding a newborn right now, so let me know how you are; tell me your story of late. It's your chance to get a word in edgewise! And I could really use the company in these rare snippets of time when I actually have a moment to myself and then realize I haven't talked to anyone over the age of five for hours! It may not be so much "interaction" because I probably won't have time to write much back. But I would love to hear from everyone. And I think really I have probably already heard from most people who read this because you have all been so thoughtful and kind. But surely you have time to say a little something else... Just in case you can't think of anything, here's what's going on with us in more detail. Maybe there is something interesting to comment on?

Elspeth is doing well, slowly working back to her birth weight- which has consequently helped me drop 20 pounds already (that's right, do the math, 6 pounds down from when I started)! She is not very hard to please which is a huge answer to prayer. Once we start getting some sleep, I may declare her a perfect baby. But right now, we're up at all hours and now that my mom has left, will no longer have the luxury of making up for our sleepless night by sleeping until noon (around feeding times, of course!). Amabel and August had a great week with Nanna (my mom) in town. Plus, they seem to be getting as much attention as Elspeth, if not more, because everyone has so generously included them when sending gifts! George is trying to juggle school and work and family and is probably a little stressed, especially with the due date for his next sermon rapidly approaching. He also has horrible poison ivy right now. But I think my mom being here helped him get caught up on a lot of work he had missed while with me in the hospital. I am off the heavy pain meds and feel more and more myself, but it is just natural to be both sore and hormonal only two weeks out, so I will have to be patient for healing. I hope this doesn't sound like a bad report. Things really are going quite well, and I know it is always pretty crazy for the first six weeks or so anyway. Crazy as it can be at times, we are so excited about our beautiful new baby. But I really would love to hear from y'all- your gift to me :)

12 comments:

the good, the bad & the ugly said...

Abby,
I am glad to hear that your mom was able to come and help. My mom is here with us, too. I will wilt when she leaves next week! Sounds like you are doing well with #3! We are doing well with help too. We'll see how we juggle our new family when my mom leaves! I hope your loneliness gets better. It is always hard when you are alone because you have to be. It's depressing when it's not your choice. Take care! I need to get your address and email!

Elizabeth said...

Hey! Thanks for sending me your address. Of course that doesn't necessarily mean you'll get the gift in a timely fashion, but I'll try! Glad to hear y'all are well. I know what you mean about being hormonal. Mine always seemed to peak while I was nursing for some reason. You don't really feel like yourself until that all settles down. Well, I will write more and respond to your e-mail tomorrow. Can't wait to see more pics! And congratulations on the weight loss!

Rick said...

Abbs,
it is great to finally hear from you. I was wondering when your blog would be up and running again. I am very excited to come and visit you next week. I hope to schedule as much play time with Amabel and August as i can. I have missed books, trains and little people toys! I hope it wont be too crazy for you with ALL of you inlaws in town at once, but i promise to be good and help out where i can. I miss you greatly and look forward to catching up with you live and in person.

Jessei said...

Abby, the next time you have 30 minutes until you need to nurse and want to talk to someone, meander down here to my house (brind A and A) and we'll chat for a few minutes! I'd love it! We all totally understand the "doing nothing but feeding a newborn" phase...Eben nursed every 2 hours until he was 5 months old! So I did nothing but feed beyond having a newborn well on to infant, I thought I would go nuts if I didn't go outside and talk to an adult every once in a while.

BeccaB said...

Abby,

I'm so glad Elspeth is a trooper baby...even so, it's hard to be a trooper mom sometimes, isn't it? Your previous picture of Amabel and August was great-such beautiful-looking children, and BA says they're so sweet to one another as well. What a gift!

On this ranch, we've been transitioning P. to the big boy bed and getting excited about #2, arriving in about 6 weeks. Don't know the sex, and we don't tell names. Did you and G find that sometimes people were sort of quizzically annoyed by that? A couple of people have even suggested that we're only pretending to not know the sex, and fibbing when we say we haven't firmly decided what to call the baby (which we truly have not for sure)! Was this the only pregnancy where you kept "secrets" from the whole wide world? :)

Anonymous said...

Joseph and Sarah were here this weekend so we did lots of baby shopping. We hit all the big stops: target superstore, babies r us, and pottery barn kids with a quick stop in janie and jack. sarah's mom smocked a beautiful dress for maryn that is white with cream smocking. greg and his new girlfriend were here for dinner last night. she is really nice and very down to earth. i think that's about all our news. parker is getting some new teeth. all i have to say is they better come in before this baby!!! talk to you soon. love, Jennie

april said...

Hi Abby,
So glad you are all home and getting acquainted with your new little girl. What a delight they are and so, so, so much work. We're back in school, soccer, piano and well, that's enough to make me tired. Sometimes I long for those days of being home with little ones and not having to drive someone to their next scheduled place and not to constantly be asking, "Did you get your Latin, Math, History, Memory Work, Humanities, Science, Theory, Reading, Spelling and whatever I'm missing done?" So enjoy these quiet days they don't last nearly long enough. However, God probably designed babies to grow quickly because he knew we could only cherish it for so long before we started pulling our hair out and wearing pj's all day long.

jennifer said...

Abby,
Glad to hear that your doing ok. I've been checking your blog now and again to see when there would be an update. I echo April's words. After an evening of taking one child to brownies and speech class and another to scouts and helping a third with homework while periodically fielding his frustrated questions about why he has to do so much homework, I can look back fondly on the days of nursing every two hours and watching infomercials in the middle of the night. Isn't it funny how we can only appreciate things after a little time has passed. Perhaps when my four are off to college and marriage and their own families, I'll look back fondly on explaining the parts of speech to a 10-year-old. We'll see.

We're praying for you and George and all the little Edemas.

Abby said...

Thanks everyone. It's good to hear the news from everyone. Um, anyone who misses the sweet newborn stage is welcome to come over and take the shift from eleven at night to about four or five in the morning. That only entails about two hours of constant trying to keep a baby from crying and two or three thirty to forty five minute feedings! It's a hoot! It's also really fun when seven or eight rolls around and the two grumpy children who kept getting woken up all night and the parents who never really got any sleep all have to wake up and function like normal people.

Sorry for the sarcasm, I know what you mean about enjoying this time while it lasts. I really get it after seeing what some of y'all are up to. I just can't imagine ever being able to cram so much in a day. But I guess people on three to four hours of sleep a night with whiney three year olds (who aren't getting much sleep either) and super psychotic hormonal mood swings aren't very good judges of what they can or can't do. I actually found myself crying over having to sweep the kitchen this morning. In my defense, I swept it at least three times yesterday.

Anyway, I wasn't meaning to complain. It really is just part of it. I just think the idea of looking back on it and missing it like it's the "good ole days" is a little bit more than I'll be doing. Give me three or four years and I might though. Never say never.

Katherine said...

hey abby! i think nursing is half of it. i was never so emotional & overwhelmed as when i was nursing. i didn't realize how much it affected me until i weaned lucas. my very wise husband suggested i do it sooner than i anticipated thinking i would enjoy a few months where i felt "normal" before we started trying for #2. at the time i wasn't crazy about it...reading your blog reminds me how wise he was! :) give me your email, or my email is kefain@yahoo.com. i want to hear how planned c-sections go vs. emergency c-sections. i know, a yucky topic.

Courtney said...

Oh, do I know how you feel. Even though my littlest (E) is 5 months, when you were just describing crying over sweeping the kitchen floor, I was right there with you. It's hard. It's just hard. Plus, the whole days running into nights running into days stuff. E was sleeping fine until about a month ago and now we're waking and not wanting to sleep. So, even though she's not a newborn, we're still not sleeping again!
I'm not trying to be discouraging, I'm just recognizing where you are. It's just the truth that you feel like a crazy person and you act the exact opposite of who you think you are or who you are trying to be! At least, that's how I feel. I want the house to be clean and organized - that's why I clean. But, at the same time, I'm mad b/c I have to clean up paper, crayons, crumbs, spilled water, etc.
But, then there are the moments that are just so tender with them that make you want to cry. And it all comes full circle. Until the next feeding at least.... Ha Ha...... When I'm praying for more sleep for us, I'll throw some up for you all too......... Whenever you guys decide to come back to Nashvegas, please let me know!! I'd love to see you..........

rhb said...

Abs,

You can always call me in the middle of your night because it won't yet eb the middle of mine. :) I am still looking for something pretty for Elspeth. I have to wait until I find just the right thing. :) We are all fine. We've had company for a couple of weeks- friends from G'ville. It has been nice to speak English. Whenver you take a snapshot og the whole fam, I need one. SA needs to recognize ya'll and I don't have a picture of everyone together. Right now, I just take her around the house looking at pictures. She woke up sayinf August the other day. I have no idea- guess she remembered him in her dreams. :) Miss you! Hang in there with the crazy hormones. Remember that it won't last forever.

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