Saturday, December 23, 2006

A Blue Christmas

I love blue at Christmas. Blue looks really great with red and green don'tcha think? So a blue Christmas is not a bad thing- unless it's the overly played Elvis song or Christmas this year. There's still time for things to turn themselves around, but we have been trudging through high fevers, coughing, and sleepless nights for eight days now. Amabel started our festival of fevers and had no other symptoms except the high fever. August followed soon after with even higher fevers, restless nights, and much phleghmy coughing. Nice eh? George pulled one true all-nighter, not sleeping for a good long 40 hours at the beginning of the week. It is amazing to me with the lack of sleep he has gotten, he has not fallen victim to the fever. But something must be going on because he has put at least twenty hours into a paper over the week and is still not finished. I am ready to delete it from our computer and let him get a zero. His work is constantly being interrupted by plumbers and landscapers and whoever else has work to do on the apartment grounds as well as by me or the children. But I'm so sick of that paper hanging over all of our heads. I get the big baby of the year award because this whole being sick thing has knocked me out. Ya know how they say kids are resilient? It is usually about some sort of emotional trauma one of them has endured and I am living proof that that whole resilience thing is too often relied upon. In other words, I don't like it when people use that as a cop out. But physically speaking, it appears to be somewhat true. I remember skinning my knee at a high school retreat and losing all control. I shivered and cried and basically made an enormous baby of myself; it was horribly embarrassing. It just hurt so much more as a big sixteen year old than it did as a little six year old. Well, fevers seem to be much more disorienting and cold/hot as an adult than they ever were as a child. And sore throats are a major downer too. I have lost my voice and found a throat as raw and scratchy as ever I can remember. It almost seems like hot tea and lozenges, while helping for a few minutes on contact, make it worse. And I find all of this horribly depressing. I went to bed earlier this afternoon and woke up at six to Elspeth crying. George and the other two children are nowhere to be found. I have a guess that they may have gone for dinner somewhere or to deliver Christmas gifts to George's family as we have had to cancel Christmas Eve dinner over here because of all the illness. But why no note? It's not as if I can call- I have literally no voice. So I am blue. I am very blue. I'm all alone, hot and cold and with a very sore throat with no idea of when anyone is coming home. And when they do come home will they just go to sleep? I have slept most of the day, will I be all alone into the wee hours of the morning? Or will I be able to sleep? And if so, how many times will I wake up soaking wet from sweating?

I hate that all of this is happening right before Christmas. I am going to have to miss church on Christmas Eve. I am not getting to eat the yummy Christmas goodies I made. And there were so many things I had still left to bake. I still hadn't made my wreaths- and I even had holly for them this year! I haven't been to the grocery, and even without having to make the Christmas Eve feast, we've got to get a few things before all the grocery stores close. The grocery stores all close here on Christmas Eve afternoon and all day Christmas Day. I like that. I didn't know there were places that still did that. Everywhere here does. Anyway, I've been trying to wait it out and hopeful of healing, but now I'm just hacked off. Nice attitude right? Well, if I'm not mistaken, I'm known for great attitudes. This is all so appropriate though; it has truly been the year from hell for me. I know God's hand has been on us and there is much to be thankful for, especially for darling Elspeth, but I'd not do this year over for all the money in the world. Wait, I guess I'd have to since Elspeth comes out of this year. Well, thank goodness that's not possible and it's almost over. And here's to 2007! I am sorry I didn't get all my yummy recipes posted for y'all. I know you understand- if people are even still reading. And I may not get another post in this year. I am hoping for healing in time for our trip to Nashville and Birmingham for New Years. I am in that feeling so awful stage right now that the idea of ever being healthy and happy again seems delusional. See how quickly I despair! Not sure if any of this makes sense right now, somewhere over 100 degrees Fahrenheit. But I do hope everyone else is well. And Happy Christmas to all, even me, the biggest Baby of 2006.


jennifer said...

We feel for you. The fever thing has hit us, but not as hard. It seems to only have one target here, and he gets it in a recurring fashion. The cough, etc., is not quite as single-minded. We're praying you're all better soon and able to travel next week. Here's to a grand 2007 for everyone!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Abby, bless your heart! I do hope that y'all feel better and I hope that your trip goes well. And if you don't get to the grocery before Christmas day, you can always count on Walgreen's. They are always open.

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Hope that you are feeling better. It is never easy when you feel bad but it all seems so much bigger when the holidays are around. There always has to be some sort of place open no matter what day of the year it is.
One year I got out of the hospital two days before Christmas. I just hung around the house. It was a fabulous day because (I didn't have to do any of the work) but also because family and friends understood and they were there just spending time with me.

Elizabeth said...

Hope you feel better! We can't wait to see you next week. Let us know when :)

Again, Elspeth is so cute! Beautiful, really. I think she looks different than the other two, people say that?

Merry Christmas!

RHB said...

Praying for you all to have a wonderful trip HOME! Love you!

Anonymous said...

Can I just say that it felt like you had jumped into my mind in this post? We are going through the same thing! The fever, the cough, the vomit, the diarrhea, etc. You have to love it. Christmas Eve was a tough day and I thought, this is just perfect. But, Christmas day was glorious. I guess that is parody of life. Hopeless before the Savior and oh so hopeful at His birth....... Just have to remind myself of that at every doom and gloom moment- which seem to pile up during these times........... Courtney

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