Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My "Baby" Boy

So I am so mad at myself for not posting this sooner. But I am in a major tailspin and I have no idea when things will slow down. It has been so much with Amelia and my aunt and school starting. Yes, today was the first day of school. More importantly it was August's very first day! He is only going 8 to 11 two days a week, but it is a pretty big deal. This is my child who still cries every Sunday when I take him to Sunday school. He has actually worked through it a lot this past month since vacation Bible school. But he really did not want to start school today. I took him for "testing" yesterday and the look on his face in the rear view mirror as we drove that long mile to school was almost enough to make me turn the car around and say "Okay! You can just stay with Mommy forever!" He's just so sweet and childlike. He has real children's fears and insecurities and also (or therefore) has a real childlike vulnerability. You know, Amabel has always had to be the "big girl." She is a great help to me and she is quite a trail blazer and so smart. But I love how August is just who he is and isn't in a hurry to get somewhere else (or pass everyone else on the way!).

Amabel is also chatty. That's an understatement (I know, takes on to know one!). So August just sort of blends into the background sometimes. The other day she was out with her aunt and George took August to ride the Metrolink, a public transportation above ground train system here in St. Louis. He came back and it was like a switch had been flipped. He had so much to say! I said "August, you never talk this much! Is it because Amabel is always talking for you?" (we are trying to teach her not to answer everyone else's questions before they can) He said "And I want her to be quiet so I can talk." Ever since then he has begun that new chapter, the four year old chapter, the asks 437 questions a day chapter. Granted his four year old birthday is still a few weeks away, but he's getting a head start. But let me say that at this point, I am delighted. I have never heard his voice so much! It is the sweetest little voice.

I am really looking forward to these days when he is not in school to spend time with him and get to listen to him. I am also thankful that there will be someone two days a week to bear the burden that the 437 questions inevitably becomes. I think too that that time will give me a chance to have time with just Elspeth. If nursing counts, then she gets plenty of quality time (lately at four in the morning!). But I think I may have read her a book only a dozen times. I know, I read all of that Jane Austen aloud to her and she hears what I read to the older two, but as far as getting on the floor and showing her a board book, the thing I did a dozen times a day with the older two, I am completely serious when I say I have done that maybe twelve times ever with her.

So soon I really hope I can slow down and take each child as an individual and pay attention and nurture each one. It has been almost a year since Elspeth was born and I still feel I have not figured out this whole business of having three. Each child though is so different and so special. I mean, that's true of all children. But sometimes with my own children they just become a big blob of Georbys. That is the affectionate term I came up with to refer to George's and my unborn children when we were first married. Amabel is hard to miss, you know. She's going to let you know what she's thinking and you're going to get that chance to give her attention. And Elspeth, well, she has diaper changes and nursing time and is spoon fed, not to mention the constant watching for places she could bump her head or choking hazards. But there are days where I realize I haven't said much of anything to August. To me that is tragic. Because he's the one I won't always have. He's the one I'll have to give up some day. But we're not going to talk about that. Because I cried today watching him with his green train backpack, holding a rope with ten other four year olds, following his teacher up the stairs for a three hour school day. Baby steps, I know. But they started today.


Olive said...

Awwww, how cute are you? He seems like a very sweet boy!

jennings said...

that just makes me want to cry- picturing him with his backpack on holding the rope. parker starts in two weeks. i don't know if i am ready.

lauren said...

that was so sweet...why did you have to make me cry this morning?! i love that he said "...i want her to be quiet so i can talk."! print that out and stick it in his baby book. :) oh, but don't feel bad if he doesn't have one...liam has a baby "box"!

it sound like you have a great schedule! and i must say that amabel and ellie are 2 peas in a pod! it must be that first born girl.

Becca said...

I hear you loud and clear. I'm also a weenie about my baby boy, and P. starts the day after Labor Day. It's only one day 9-2, but we went a bought him a lunch box at Target in the back-to-school section, so that made it feel like real school. Sniff, sniff.

abby said...

the lunch box will do it! when amabel was two she was signed up to go to mother's morning out one morning a week, but i canceled when i got the information about packing her lunch. i couldn't imagine her eating lunch away from me!

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