Thursday, August 02, 2007

Postcard from Nashville

We are actually leaving Nashville tomorrow so this is sort of late to be writing a postcard. And it is really late in the day. Er um early. 3:34AM to be exact. Insomnia scares me. It makes me think of pregnancy, both early and late. Yikes! Let's hope I am wrestless tonight because of all the excitement. I invited some friends from high school over for tonight. It was real last minute; I called and emailed everyone yesterday. And would you believe everyone was able to come?! Well, not my whole class, which was only 23 people so maybe they could've all come, just the six I invited, a couple of whom also brought spouses. It was so much fun. I think I avoid putting myself out there sometimes. I guess we all do. And right now I have loads of baby weight to lose, a bad break out that has been going strong for what seems like a year and a half now, and a pretty bad case of big hair (this is the fault of both my genes and also of dear Frank who has missed the mark lately, I am sorry to say). I had a little anxiety about these things- about seeing people who last saw me cute and in college or whatever. I decided in the end that if we wait forever to be who we want to be, we won't ever do anything. These were some of my dearest friends growing up who loved me well. Who cares if I have monster acne?! So I put myself out there, as I said, and it was so worth it. There was food and wine and so much laughter. Why don't I laugh like that anymore? I guess I get hunkered down in whatever drama comes my way. My high school friends always made fun of that and I just had to learn to laugh at myself. Kinda makes me wish there were more people around to make fun of me more often. I think I have just gotten really bad at laughing at myself and really bad at laughing at others. I get my feelings hurt instead. I gotta get over that. And I gotta put myself out there more. This was a really great trip home. And isn't that weird- to even call Nashville home? Well it certainly felt like home again tonight.


RHB said...

Glad you had a good trip home and some good times with friends! We all need to be around people that really know us sometimes to remind ourselves of who we are, I think.

courtney said...

Thank you so much for getting that together!! I had so much fun. It made me realize how much I miss all of you all. I was in dire need of the laughter and story-telling.... We must do that again very soon! Christmas, maybe?!?!

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