Friday, August 15, 2008

The Promise of Things to Come

Okay, so the thing that tells you how many posts you have made doesn't discriminate between unpublished and published posts. So, I actually owe y'all forty posts. Yep, forty. I know y'all thought I had no filter, but it turns out, I do. I have written 40 posts over the past three years that I decided were a little too much. I struggle with that whole division between what is honest and helpful and real versus what is out and out negative and complaining and a bad attitude. I tend to fight for my right to feel. There is some sort of idea in the world (and in the church) that makes all non-happy feelings wrong or unmentionable. And clearly, I think that is absurd. Someone warned me against feeling depressed and discouraged today. Really? It's not okay to feel a little down about my present circumstances?! On the other hand, I can wholeheartedly agree with the idea that we don't let our feelings dictate our actions to the point of unhealthy behavior. I do not think I am exhibiting unhealthy behavior at this point though. No, I'll be brave, I know I am not exhibiting unhealthy behavior at this point. I can also jive with the idea that it may not be a good idea to talk about all of our feelings to anyone and everyone. Thus, the forty unpublished posts. However, I think we have to be really careful about not shaming others for what they feel. And I guess that's why I push the envelope on the whole honesty thing. Because maybe if I'm not ashamed to say what I feel when I feel it, then someone else won't when they do. At least, that is my hope. Because I always find myself learning that lots of people think this or have felt thus and such a way, and I think "why doesn't anyone say something?!" So I'm that guy, the guy that says something. Surely I have explained this before. But I needed to remind myself.

Anyway, how are y'all feeling? School is starting up. August is halfway over! That is good news for me because fall is on its way. But if you are the type who relishes summer, take heart, you still have two weekends until Labor Day. And truthfully, it will still be hot and sunny well beyond then, but the pools just won't be open. I am sort of thinking that if we move soon, I will freshen up the page for fall and maybe add some links back since so many of you have missed them. Our computer is packed away for now, and since the links to all the blogs I visit were in the toolbar, I am lost until we get the computer out of storage unless y'all leave a comment that will have the link for me to post. I guess, just anticipate that I will be adding links up again soon, and let me know if you want me to link to you. And I will. 

I am still running, slowly but surely, and I mean to one day soon have a post about that. Honestly, I am sort of waiting to have a less embarrassing success story. Even just a non-stop three mile run would be okay. But I'm not there yet. (*sigh*) I think the initial struggle was a combination of heat and diminished ankle, shin, and lower calf strength from the cruddy elliptical running I had been doing. I am doing a little better at not going out at noon in the 90+ degree heat, which helps, and I am developing more strength in my lower calves, etc. The other bad thing is that, of course, I have a lot less endurance due to the aforementioned factors and the resistance of the road, so my runs are much shorter. Well, I guess it's not all bad- three miles taking an hour would be horrendous! Anyway, the mix I worked on right before we moved has been almost useless to me now because I was working on a hour long flow for fast running. Now I run for just three or four songs a lot of times. But the one I dig most these days is Paul Simon's "The Obvious Child." So, I guess that's another thing to expect, a running success story post complete with a new tailored playlist. Although I don't think I ever remembered to post the one I did last. Well, maybe I'll get to that too. 

And as soon as all of my homeschool materials arrive (yeah, you shouldn't be surprised on that one; am I not always late? I didn't actually even order the stuff until I noticed school buses in the neighborhood and realized school had started!) and we get a few weeks under our belts, I will let you know how that is going too.

So, lots of things to look forward to: links, posts, fall, tunage, mileage, knowledge. And maybe somewhere in there we'll be able to announce some good news about a job for George. We really do appreciate all of your prayers so much, and will certainly let everyone know when we know anything. In the meantime, this is now a pie free zone, so do feel free to ask questions. And of course, I am all ears when it comes to how you all are feeling or what you need prayer for. I don't think I say that enough. And if you're shy, just shoot me an email. Alright, one down, thirty nine to go. Until what? Until my 400th post! And then what? Just more posting. Well, maybe a cake. But mostly, just more posting. See you on the 362nd!

2 comments:

Wrights said...

I love how honest you are, Abby. I really admire that in you and am working on being more that way myself. I think it makes you very approachable and, for me, it does help me to be honest about things, even when they are hard when I know that the other person I am talking with is honest. I am impressed with your running, too! I definitely am not making it very far in my runs through our neighborhood and, heaven forbid there be ANY sort of incline--it is so hard:) I'd love to get together with y'all again. I will try to call this week and see if you have any free time.

jennifer h said...

Hey, you continue to be in our prayers.

I think your honesty is good. It is good for people to see God at work in your situation even when it is not necessarily the circumstances you would have chosen.\

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