I went into the year knowing that George would be graduating from seminary, knowing that it would be a year of big changes. But little did I know. Don't you just love the whole "little did he know" part of Stranger Than Fiction? Anyway, I feel good about it. I feel good about the utter chaos and monumental disappointment of the past year. And yes, I am being a little tongue and cheek, but really, I am totally on board with all of this being good for me and being part of a perfect plan. And I have been jerked around just enough to not be freaked out about it anymore. Or so I say with a glass of champagne in my hand. Also, I haven't balanced the checkbook since before Christmas. And you know that helps with the whole not being freaked out thing too. But I've said this before, when things get as bad as your worst case scenario, you learn to not worry because the worst has already happened. Of course, dear reader, I know that worse things could happen. And I am by no means inviting more, but I'm just saying... You know what I'm saying.
Anyway, I have no idea what the point of seven month unemployment is. I truly don't. And it could turn into seventeen month unemployment before it's over. And I wanted another baby almost every day of 2008. And it has always been that it would be "wise" to wait until we had an income. So I don't know the point of that either. We are completely dependent on the generosity and good will of others at this point, and I don't know the point of that either. But I know there is a point. So here's to the point of 2008, whatever that may be. I am guessing that a lot of people feel this way at the end of the year, even without graduating from four years in a masters program and not getting a job or having all their stuff in boxes 300 miles away. A lot of things don't make sense do they? I think I need to start thinking about living a consistent life in spite of those things. A friend recently remarked to me how easy it is to live waiting for things to settle down or be how they're going to be. How much time do we waste waiting for things in our lives to fall into place? For me, it's a lot. Of course, there is much to be said for what is available to us as young families with lots of responsibilities of small children and with little time or funds to spare. But even taking that into account, I still think that, too often, I wait for life to be less hectic to do something or try something or be something. So here's to 2009, to doing something and trying something and being something, come what may. Happy New Year! And gosh, I hope this makes sense tomorrow!