Sunday, March 01, 2009

Going "Home"

The bittersweet thing about being in the hospital for five days and finally getting to go home is when you realize that you have been thinking of this cozy little place with khaki-grey walls and woolen rugs on hardwood floors, with a lovely blue ticking striped couch, red toile chairs, and all the lovely family pictures and artwork, and then you remember that the place you are going, while perfectly homey and appealing as a structure, has no pictures on the wall or rugs on the floor, and that your furniture is 400 miles away. Don't get me wrong, I feel absolutely ridiculous that I am rounding out this last box of tissue because I am homesick the day I get to go home. And I am truly grateful to be well enough to be out of the constant care of nurses and doctors. But now it is just time to reenter my life, and my life is a little --- what word would you even put there? I can't think of one. Anyway, I am going home today, and I do have quite a few things to look forward to. I am not sure what I'll do about posting. I had, at one point, completely determined to stop altogether, and then, when I received encouragement from people who didn't know me, I felt more inclined to continue. I know that's weird (and annoying) so I'll try to explain. Your friends love you and support you, and of course they understand your blog. But when people who don't necessarily know you or love you tell you you're doing fine, you know that they don't mean "because you're Abby and I see the best in you"(which is a perfectly wonderful thing about friends), they simply mean "because there's nothing wrong here." And that spoke to my fears. But we'll see. Anyway, without further ado, 

Abby's Top 10 Favorite Things About Going Home

10. No more people asking me how many times I went to the bathroom today.

9. No more beep! beep! beep! beep! for twenty minutes at any given time during the night from any given machine in any given location for who knows why, and why won't a nurse just turn it off! 

8. No more "confused" fellow patients. Bless their hearts. But it was kind of creepy. 

7. No more nurse Karen coming in at 8am wondering why I'm tired, why I haven't eaten my breakfast, if I can't please let her open the window, and remarking, rather judgmentally, that I really haven't gotten enough exercise yet today. No more nurse Karen! Hallelujah!

6. No more of any of the night nurses. Night nurses don't write their names or their phone number on the white board, so good luck if you actually need something at night. They make their first visit right when you first get into a deep sleep and then insist on having a complete workup and question/answer session about the details of your stay, which is completely pointless because they will be gone before you wake up in the morning. 

5. No more perky nurses. Perky nurses are all good and well, but when you have pneumonia and someone with perfectly placed hair and immaculate makeup bursts in the room with "Hi there! How are you?!" what do they expect? Right, your immediate contempt. Because your answer is, through cough and groan and greasy hair, "really, really sick." 

4. No more plastic hospital bed. These things do not breath well. And I always end up with a sore butt, and some sort of minor heat rash on the back of my legs before it's over. I very much look forward to the swanky sheets my sister got me for my birthday and Christmas. 600 thread count! 100% cotton sateen delight! That's right. And my duvet. My lovely splurge of a duvet, full of happy happy goose down, that actually matches the walls in the bedroom we're in now perfectly. 

3. No more menu orders. The sweet menu lady comes in twice a day to ask me what I want to eat and three more times to bring me my meals. I really like the sweet menu lady. But the sweet menu lady seems never to have been nauseated in her life. "Alright, Miss Abby, for dinner, we have a deep fat fried pork chop with bacon grease gravy and creamy mashed potatoes with..." "Um, no, see I've been pretty nauseated, do you have anything lighter?" "Oh, yes, our lighter option tonight is a crab salad..." "No, sorry, I think maybe I'll just have a fruit plate. Can you get my nurse? I need some phenergan." I have had a freaking fruit plate for the last eleven meals. I don't understand how hospital food is so heavy and unhealthy. I feel sick just hearing about it. So it's been me and my grapes and pineapple chunks and (very unworthy of being eaten) melon slices just hanging out. It will be nice to be able to think in terms of what they have at the grocery store and not what sort of deep fried nastiness they have in the cafeteria.

2. Clothes. Pajamas. We can combine these two because they're both in the category of "not gowns."

1. Amabel, August, Elspeth. I can't say anymore about them or I will weep. Home is where they are. 

12 comments:

Practically Perfect... said...

Awww! Being a nurse, I can speak to how irritating all of these beeping machines are. I imagine it's 10 times worse when you're a patient. And I agree about the hospital food - why is it so unhealthy?! People are there to get well, not get clogged arteries! Anyway, glad you're going home and feeling better :-)

Olive said...

YAY!!!!! You're home!!! God is so good. I'm thanksful you're heathly and "back to normal". Enjoy your babies and home, Abby. I know your kids misssed you tons so I'm sure you'll be busy with giving them tons of extra attention for the next few days- enjoy!

And, I, for one, hope you continue blogging. Your "I-don't-have-it-all-together-but-that's-ok-because-I-mostly-don't-care-what-ya'll-think-because-I-just-need-to-live-my-life attitude is honest and refreshing. I love your transparency and getting to share a bit in your joys and trials. Blog on, Abby, blog on. :-)

Hugs from Minnesota as you recover and settle back into home and life!

The Rays said...

Glad you're getting to "go home" today. I hope your reentry is a pleasant one. love you!!

Wright Family said...

Hooray for leaving the hospital. Praying for a speedy recovery and lots of encouragement for you. Enjoy your babies!

e.c. said...

Soo glad you're out of the hospital, Abby. Praying also that you can get some real rest now...and get to sleep before midnight :)

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear you are heading home today. Praying for your continued healing. I also enjoy your blog. You say a lot of things I think and say it very well. Joanie

annie said...

Oh, I'm so very happy to hear that you're heading home! Now you'll finally be able to rest -- something that I think is nearly impossible to do in a hospital. Charlie drew you a get-well card at church today. We'll get it to you soon. :)

barlow said...

so glad to hear you're feeling better!

Linda said...

Abby, So glad you're feeling better and going home! Hope you continue to recover there and that your kids are sweet to you.:) Linda

courtney said...

I can just hear Ty Pennington now, "Welcome home, Abby, welcome home"... Ha Ha... But, seriously, so glad you're better and home with your babies. I just know that beautiful hardwood floors and red toile chairs are in your near future. Praying for all of you guys........ Much love- Courtney

Anonymous said...

Hurray! Home at last! I am so glad and relieved! I can't wait till you're all better...I miss you! Sweet Amabel, August and Elspeth...I can't imagine how happy they are to see mommy home again. Love you. Sarah

the good, the bad & the ugly said...

Sorry you've been sick!! Glad you are on the mend. You are right, surely ANY home is better than a hospital room. Yuck.

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