Friday, May 22, 2009

Foe of Facebook

I've noticed that I am not the only one blogging less lately. Do you think this has anything to do with Facebook? Not for me- we are quite proud to be a Facebook free family. I just can't do it. And I figure people know how to find me here. The thing about having a blog is that people mistake keeping up with your blog with actually keeping up with you. I can only assume that this is also true of Facebook. I can imagine anyone can check your status or send you Starbucks (these are things, right?) and figure they have been participating in the friendship. However, I fear that friendship has suffered quite a lot over the past century as people live farther and farther apart and are more and more independent. It is sad to think that it could be reduced even further, to just knowing what is going on with someone from their Facebook page. No one would really have to respond to anyone, just check their status and know. I mean, if that's how it works. I'm not entirely sure how it works. But I feel that with my blog sometimes. How many more phone calls would I get if I didn't have a blog? I am looking at my caller ID right now, and the last time anyone called our home phone was May 8th. Today is the 22nd. Wait, that can't be right; maybe it is just this particular phone. But I don't think anyone has called since Saturday. My cel caller ID says the last call I received was last Friday. Boo. Wait, I haven't even posted since Monday. Maybe it has nothing to do with my blog! 

On the other hand, I am not opposed to communication via email. I'm a huge fan of email because you can write it and check it whenever you have time, you can save it and come back to it, and you can email at three in the morning when the person to whom you are writing or from whom you are reading is sound asleep. And people know to reply to emails. Well, most people do. But often, there's not much to say about a blog post. I rarely comment on other people's blogs. And I don't expect comments on mine anymore. There's no real obligation. But you do expect a reply to an email. There is an obligation. 

My friend Jessie sent me this hilarious card (from Hallmark) the other day. And I admit I think like this a lot of times. I never want to assume people do read my blog so I often find myself telling someone something that was posted here already. Then, when they are obviously hearing it for the first time, I make a lil' mental note- "not a reader....jerk!"  Well, I'm kidding- about the jerk part. But this card made me laugh a lot. 


jennifer h said...

I understand your dislike of FB. I think your concerns are valid, but I really like it for reconnecting with people I once lived near or with. It can also be a springboard for real talking.

Overall, I think a lot of people are not fans of the phone, and FB and blogs helps those people.

Yet, I also feel like FB gives a false reality of friendship among people who aren't really friends.

I am a big fan of the e-mail, too. Now that I know that you like e-mail, too, don't be surprised if you get more from me.

Abby said...

Jennifer, i totally remember your post about facebook and was hoping not to be mooching of your thoughts. your post sort of solidified my anti-facebook feelings :) i think the biggest thing for me- though i haven't lived as many places as you- is that if i have lost touch with someone, with some exceptions, i kind of don't want to be in touch with them. yikes, that doesn't sound very nice, but i keep hearing my sister and close friends virtually running into these other people from our high school, and i am SO glad it's not me! hmmm, what does that say about me?

feliperrl said...

I loved this post. I just found your blog, because I too was researching the 4 in 1 Food Network grill. That aside, I was so thrilled to hear the words "Facebook free family." I hate Facebook. I just graduated from college with a BA in English, and plan on law school in the fall. Not only does Facebook add to the ruination of proper spelling and grammar, I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Didn't I tag you on Facebook (or Myspace)? Oh, well, if you had it you would have been invited." What do we all pay cell phone bills for anyway?

Facebook is also heavily warned against for law students because firms often check Facebook to see what your page says and you never know what some friend (or drunk "Facebook friend") will write on your page.

This rant on Facebook aside, I loved reading your posts, and wanted to tell you about something you apparently have not, or are not interested to use. If you like stumbling around on the internet, and want a way to find sites that are interesting to you, try It is this program you can enter all your interests into and use to stumble upon interesting things. The reason I think you don't have it is that when I added you to the pages I liked, it said I was the first to add you to stumble. Hope you don't mind, but you would probably like the site.

Best with everything,


Abby said...

Thanks, Phil! I appreciate the comment and the link. I had not heard of It sounds interesting. I didn't follow up much with my 4 in 1 Grill on here, so I thought I'd tell you, just in case you wander back over, that overall, I really do like it.

It cooks very well, but there are a couple of "construction issues." When we recently moved, we packed it back in the original packaging, but when we unpacked it, a piece of the plastic around the bottom had broken off. We should have just taken it back. It was still under warranty. But I was getting it out to use it and figured I could use it before taking it back. That remained my logic until I just got used to it. There didn't seem to be any real problem aside from the obvious aesthetic issue anyway. In the end, that piece of plastic has started melting a little and we just should have taken it back. I only tell you to relay the fact that it isn't quite so sturdy as it should be. One further example of this is that the clips on the plates are screwed on and when I pulled one of my plates out last week, the clip fell off. Fortunately, I found the tiny screw, but I have no idea what loosed the screw. If I had floor vents or if the screw had come off when I was washing it in the sink, it could have been much more annoying. I guess we could remedy that problem by checking to make sure the screws are tight from time to time.

However, for me, the cooking versatility outweighs the durability issues, as none of them have gotten in the way of a perfect panini yet :) But I thought you might want to take the durability stuff into account.

Thanks for stopping by. It's always great to meet a fellow English major- and Facebook hater! Good luck with law school!

renae said...

Hi Abby, I'm one of those facebook jerks who has completely neglected her own blog and only rarely visits anyone elses.

So, therefore, I have completely neglected YOU! Please forgive me.

I really feel like I only have about enough attention span to post a facebook update and read through what other people have posted recently... by then the baby's crying, Lucy's rearranging the cupboards, and Eliot's sitting on the sofa eating a carrot that he's snaked from the fridge.

Your relationship / friendship points are valid, BUT, on the other hand, I find facebook useful for both out-of-town AND local friends and acquaintances. For example, I know that an STL friend went into labor today and will probably find out by tomorrow morning about the new baby. I was able to lend a globe to another friend because she sent out a request through her status update earlier today. I connected with a friend who lives out in West County, and we were able to get our families together for the daughter's HS graduation party ... and those are just 3 of many local examples of how facebook has actually enhanced rather than put a fake "friendship" stamp on some STL people I know.

I definitely had to make a conscious decision to "IGNORE" all the crazy facebook requests that come through... friend requests from people I barely or DON'T know, requests to join someone's group, quizzes ad nauseum, facebook games... yowza!

But one day when I caught myself wishing "Abby E. was on facebook" I realized how it doesn't fit your style... you have so much more to say than can be put in some stupid facebook status update box, or comment to some link you might post.

I'm getting my own cell phone soon... my FIRST ONE EVER. Clay asked me how I wanted to go about picking one out. I said, "uhm... can I get a blue one? No, maybe green?" Once I have it, I'll call you and we'll catch up. =)

Abby said...

Hey Renae! I have missed your posts. Facebook explains it! Well, if you chance to look back here, I wanted to let you know that we have made a plan to swing by TFS tomorrow afternoon to bring a snack and visit. I planned on staying through pick up time just so I can see you (and that sweet baby that will be so big by now!) in the carpool line! If you are in a hurry, no worries, but I hope to get a chance to at least to give you a hug and hear the latest.

That's funny what you said about me having way too much to say for Facebook. SO true! That is actually the only thing that makes me think I could benefit from taking part. I could use a daily exercise in being concise! And your examples of how it works well for busy moms of five is definitely a valid point. I would likely appreciate it more if I was more on the go and not living the slow country homeschool mom life!

Hope to catch up soon- maybe even tomorrow! (If you want to come have a snack too, we should be there around 2:00)

e.c. said...

Perhaps you would not consider yourself such a foe of fb if you were better acquainted with her? :)

Blog Archive