As you know, things in the Edema world have been more than a little rough over the last year and a half. And basically, I was really sad and disappointed and confused and exhausted. Oh, and very defensive. I really wanted understanding and encouragement and am pretty much a share-y person anyway, so I kept coming to my blog in hopes of communicating, being understood, and feeling just a little bit better. But honestly, none of that was happening. Blogs aren't really for that anyway, are they? So it just started looking like a tabloid. I was really making it a "did you hear what happened to the Edemas?!" scenario because of my vulnerability (or some might say "lack of discretion" ). So I just quit writing. And to ensure that I would not buckle under my assumed expectation of the people reading, I went ahead and "boarded it up," so to speak, with the privatized message. It was the only thing I could do to make it invisible, short of deleting the whole thing.
So here I am on October 1st (15th now!), wondering if I am brave enough and mature enough to start blogging again. You could call me a lot of things, but neither brave nor mature would make it into even the top 100 adjectives that illuminate Abby. Wouldn't that be a fun post? Maybe not 100, but like 25 adjectives that you would use to describe yourself. I wouldn't want to post it, of course, because I am not brave enough to assert 25 things about myself because I would be so afraid people would laugh and say "she thinks she's intelligent?! HA!" Or you know, insert 24 other adjectives people might laugh at. Anyway, it isn't just the bravery and maturity I have to consider, it's whether or not I will have anything worthwhile to say if I do use more discretion. Not that what I was writing before was terribly worthwhile....
Anyway, you may want to know what's going on in the Edema world these days. I've come to realize that as much as I am a fighter of Facebook, this blog is pretty much my Facebook account without the advantages of being networked the same way. This was how people kept up with me. And I think that is what was bugging me before. But not so much anymore. If I never hear from you except for the occasional comment on my blog, that's okay. If you lurk and I don 't even know you read, that's okay too. It always was, really. It just wasn't okay, in the long, lonely, late days of summer, that the only human interaction I had were the comments on my most recent post. Fifty degrees, twelve weeks, one car, two jobs, and three Christian school tuitions later, I am much better. Much better. Any one of those things is enough to have me feeling very grateful and blessed.
So "whoa, whoa, whoa!" you're thinking, "what is she talking about?!" Let me break it down for you and then we'll be all up to speed.
Fifty degrees- It was 42 degrees this morning, and that is 50 degrees less than the typical high for a July day this past summer in St. Louis (which was very mild for St. Louis)
Twelve weeks- since my last post
One car- the deacons in our church helped us purchase an inexpensive used car for George to get to work in Illinois every day!
Two jobs- one for George and one for me. George works in Illinois every day for a business owned by a man in our church. It is much better pay than he was getting anywhere else and we are very grateful. I am working from 8:30-11:30 Monday through Friday as a first grade aide. I assist the teacher in all kinds of things from making copies and decorating bulletin boards to flying solo with anywhere from twelve to sixteen of the eighteen children in the class while she teaches a smaller group reading more on their group's level. When I "fly solo," I am helping them individually with their classwork, but not actually teaching.
Three Christian school tuitions- In exchange for my work, all three children are able to go to school! August and Elspeth attend half day programs and we all get to leave together at 11:30. Amabel stays for a full day and we pick her up at 3:00.
Alright, so I think we're caught up. I am not sure how often I will be able to write with all the other I have going on, but I felt compelled to be in touch again. Also, I should mention, my cell phone has been broken for about four weeks and there is no way for me to retrieve messages. So, if you have tried to contact me, or even if you haven't and you want to pretend you have because I would really never know, sorry, I didn't get the message! You must communicate with me some other way. And I am sorry to say, I have no alternate number, save the wretched landline with the 636 area code. So for now, this may actually be the best way of contacting me- or, obviously, email. Thanks for coming back by :)