Okay, let's give it a go. Shall we?
For starters, there have been lots of abandoned story lines over the years. But, I'm a patient girl (not really, but in this case...) and easily distracted, so I just kept watching. But eventually, I did expect to find out why the Others like to masquerade as people living in mud huts and what's so special and strange about Walt and why Ben and Widmore can't kill each other and what the numbers really mean and who is whispering and what Jacob is up to and what's up with all the hieroglyphics. Okay, so a few of those have been sort of answered. It just seems like they made a really really big deal out of them to just sort of go "oh, those are just...." like it's no big deal. Why all the mystery? I'll tell you why. They're cheaters. They put people and situations in the story that have no place being there. My English professors used to remind us of Chekhov's smoking gun rule which states, "If you fire a gun in Act III, it must be seen on the wall in Act I; and if you show a gun on the wall in Act I, it must be fired in Act III." The expression that goes "a place for everything and everything in its place" comes to mind too. In the end, there are lots of things, people, situations, and events that seem to have absolutely no place in our story. There are guns all over the wall in Act I and here we are, up to the final scene, and there is not enough time to fire those guns. Okay, there's always time to fire a gun, but there isn't enough time to answer a lot of these questions. I could care less how they do it, I am not partial to any one theory, but good story telling demands that they give an account for these things. The writers are accusing their audience of wanting to be spoon fed answers, and I think that's really unfair. The audience just wants a story line that makes sense. It's not lack of thinking we're all doing; it's that we are thinking and recognize that this is shoddy storytelling and lots of things don't add up. I trusted in an artful, intelligent, and sophisticated framework, and instead, I got "Across the Sea!"
That brings us to "Across the Sea." This episode made me a bonafide hater. To call it a child's fairy tale would be an insult to the Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, and Walt Disney. As one of my coworkers put it, "It's like, here, give it to the dog- it'll eat anything!" It was so so so badly done that I was in disbelief. The acting was bad. The costumes were bad (did Jacob have snaps on his vest?!). The hair was just silly. And the holes! Oh the holes! Fake mom says "I've made it so you can't hurt each other." Really? Because Jacob beat the shazam out of his brother twice and then threw him into an absurd looking glow-y cave (what many message board folks like to call "the gate to Ferngully") to endure a fate worse than death. "What's dead?" Well, twelve year old child, it's what you were trying to make that boar you were hunting... Clearly Jacob had no idea what was going on because his mom never answered any of his questions. He knew she killed his real mom and that whole village of other people and yet, he has blindly followed her instructions for hundreds (thousands?) of years? Everyone on the show has beliefs about what is going on based on information that came from Jacob, and Jacob's information all came from psycho Allison Janney lady.
Back to the holes though. Flocke can't go across water without a boat. He can't leave the Island. So how did he appear as Christian Shephard of the Island on the freighter and in LA? Maybe Christian was a ghost in those instances instead of Smokey? Remember wet whispering Walt? He wasn't dead, so he couldn't be a whisper, a ghost, or a Smokey, but it also wasn't him either. Just what are the rules with Smokey? Can he appear only as someone who died on the Island? Because what about Isabella? Can he appear only as someone who has not been buried? Because what about Alex? And besides Smokey's holes, there are others. Ben and Widmore can't kill each other. Anyone watch on Tuesday? Richard can't die. Anyone watch on Tuesday?
The holes are boring. The stuff that is just totally stupid is more fun. Basically, all of the last two episodes- really, really dumb. And is Claire or isn't she "infected?" Is Sayid or isn't he "infected?" He did just martyr himself for the good guys, you know. What was the point of Dogen? What was the point of Illana? What was the point of Zoe? What is the point of any of it? There could have been any number of directions for the show to have gone that would have been rich and intriguing and well done. But with only two and a half hours left, I think there is little hope for any ending to save it.
Oh, see, I told you this was happen. Can opened. I have plenty more I oculd say, but I will stop here. We will be missing the series finale on Sunday because we will be on the way back from an interview at a church in Iowa. We'll watch it when we get the chance, and I am sad not to see it in real time, but not very sad. I mean, the circumstances keeping us from the television are quite worthy, but even so, not too sad. I think I have already sort of grieved the loss of what might have been a great show and am now just watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 style.