Happy New Year!

I think I've probably been away so long that no one thought I would ever come back (including me). But in the event that anyone ever looks this way, I wanted to say Happy New Year. I would say Merry Christmas, as it is still Christmas until the 6th of January, but Christmas didn't seem very Christmas-y this year. If I am still working in the florist shop next year, which is unlikely, I will definitely have to take some strides to make it different. Both Christmas Day and New Year's Day fall on my day off anyway, and, though my children have been home every day, and every single other person at work has had extra time off (except my boss), I have had no extra time off. On top of that, my boss is a major stress case so there is nothing jolly about Christmas- it is just triple (at least) the usual work load and a solid month of crankiness. It has been pretty miserable. On top of that, I have two sets of in-laws and both sets have come to town to stay at some point during the Christmas season. Across the board, Christmas felt like hard work to please people who don't know me, appreciate me, or understand me at all, with one day of exception (and peace!) at home with my husband and children. That just isn't right! And I'll be sure to make it different next year.  But I am grateful for the one day of peace. Christmas Day itself was lovely. I truly prayed for a white Christmas (it's the little things!) and we got a full twelve inches of white! And I somehow managed to make both a yummy Christmas brunch and a festive Christmas dinner. Usually, by the time Christmas Day rolls around, I have hung up my apron after so many days of baking and entertaining. But I guess all the work at the florist shop kept me out of the kitchen enough that I still had a lot left to give. So, while I am beyond burnt out at work these days, my kitchen remains my sanctuary. I'm starting to wonder how sincere all of these "you should go into business" comments are. I think it's more that I'd rather work for myself from home doing something I love than that I really think my coconut cake or chocolate chunk brownies are that good, but still, wouldn't it be nice? That's on the long term list somewhere- doing something with baking on a more regular basis. Also on the list? Moving back Home.

But for now, the short term list, as it is time for New Year's resolutions!
1) Wear lipstick. This is my biggest one, and I really think I can actually do it- not perfectly, but just get into the habit and do it much more regularly. I'm excited!
2) Cook dinner. I sort of go in spurts with this. We'll have a couple of weeks where I do alright and then another couple where we are just foraging around at eight o'clock every night. I hate the foraging days. I think the root of my problem is lack of ideas. If I already know and have planned a meal, execution is not so difficult, even on the most exhausting days.  But the plan has to have been set into motion days before when I went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients and that rarely happens. I usually go to the grocery store in a bit of a panic and wander around trying to think of things to fix with little success. I got no less than five cookbooks for Christmas though, so inspiration and ideas have arrived!
3) Get back on track with no dairy, no Coke and no alcohol. When I started ballet this fall, I quit drinking coke and alcohol because all that time looking in a mirror that first lesson sent me into shock over how puffy I looked. And I tried to be more vigilant with not eating dairy either. (It totally upsets my stomach and know I shouldn't do it, but it's just so tasty!) I slimmed down quite a bit this fall by cutting out just those three things. And then, it just seemed so fussy at Thanksgiving to not drink wine when everyone else was drinking wine or to insist on nondairy everything. So, it would've been fine if I had gotten right back on track when we got home, but then it was Christmas time and it's so hard not to drink or do dairy at Christmas time especially when you've already been "cheating." No more cheating though! I am puffy all over again, right when I was ready to go buy smaller jeans! This is another resolution I know I can do- not perfectly for this one either- but pretty well because I've done it before so recently.
4) Stop being so cranky. I've been working on this so I don't know how I am any more resolved today than I was yesterday (way back last year...) but I am resolved to stop being cranky at some point during this year. I have been downright angry for about eight months. I'm sick of it.  A counselor once told me that anger usually comes when we have a problem we can't solve. I have always remembered this because it is almost always true and when I find myself getting angry or being angry, I try to figure out what the problem is and find a solution. The problem now is one I have been unable to find a solution to-- for eight months. I'm hoping the solution comes in the next twelve. In the meantime, perhaps I need to work on some anger management techniques...

That's it. From the frivolous to the frank, that's what I'm working on. Wish me luck! And good luck to all of you for a prosperous, healthy, and happy new year!